When
I was six, my father told me nothing could go faster than light, that
light was the fastest thing in the universe. Being only a child, I
believed him. But it became my mission to try to break that barrier,
to make something that could go faster than light. So at school, I
excelled at sciences, went through college, university, and got a job
with a physics laboratory. There I studied harder and harder, and
after ten years of long, hard work, I finally unveiled the world’s
first Faster Than Light engine. For that, I won my first Nobel Prize.
A
few years later, I heard a rumour that the only thing faster than
light was dark. Because no matter how fast light was, the dark would
always be there waiting for it. And so, being still an impressionable
and somewhat driven man, I dedicated my every waking moment to
uncovering the secrets of travel at speeds Faster Than Darkness. And
so, after thirty-five years, three failed marriages, six nervous
breakdowns, and two entirely bankrupted universities, this time last
year I unveiled the prototype of the world’s very first Faster Than
Darkness engine. It had taken a quarter of a billion dollars in
adjusted US currency to complete, and was my very life and soul. For
that, I won my right to retirement, and a good night’s rest.
The
other day, I heard a rumour. It turns out the only thing faster than
dark is rumour…
