EXT: Outside, grassy hill in background. The occasional waft of smoke can be seen drifting past.
CAPTION: ROMANIA, 3000BC.
Two Iron-age VILLAGERS enter, from opposite sides.
FIRST VILLAGER (From right): Barry! Barry! A fire's broken out! The fields are burning!
BARRY (From left): Oh no! Which one Derek?
DEREK: Well, we hadn't got round to clearing it out yet, so there was loads of old weeds and all growing all over it. What are we going to do?
(Smoke wafts past. BARRY takes a deep breath in and exhales, his face taking on a strange expression.)
DEREK: Barry?
(BARRY takes another breath of the smoke.)
DEREK: Barry? What we going to do?
BARRY (Smiling): Fuck 'em. You hungry? I'm hungry all of a sudden.
Thursday 31 January 2013
Thursday 3 January 2013
Adam Ant's Dinner Song.
As a confirmed Adam Ant fan and random odd-person, I wrote this in an idle moment. To the tune of 'Prince Charming'... enjoy.
Eat your dinner,
Eat your dinner,
Open your mouth and
shovel it inside you.
Eat your dinner,
Eat your dinner,
Open your mouth and
shovel it inside you.
Little peas,
Little peas,
Petits pois is nothing
to be scared of.
Eat your dinner,
Eat your dinner,
Open your mouth and
shovel it inside you.
Try some mustard,
Have some mustard,
It goes well with all
this boiled bacon.
Try some mustard,
Have some mustard,
It goes well with all
this boiled bacon.
Little peas,
Little peas,
Petits pois is nothing
to be scared of.
Try some mustard,
Have some mustard,
It goes well with all
this boiled bacon.
(Repeat ad nauseum)
[Please note - this is a parody of 'Prince Charming' by Adam and the Ants, all rights reserved by respective original owners]
The Day We Went To Wall Street.
A little song I wrote a couple of years ago, just after the Occupy Wall Street and Occupy LSE movments. I had planned on finding a topical news comedy program to send it to but had no luck. So, a year or two late I present it now without further comment.
(To the tune of Day Trip
To Bangor)
Didn't we have a
loverly time the day we went to Wall Street
We all took a tent, and
didn't pay rent,
And stuck it to the man
as well.
Plenty of cops made
plenty of stops and one of them brought a taser.
We shouted and screamed
and poor Freddie got creamed with a thousand volts.
And over in Greece, the
bloody police, they tried to stop the rioters.
Kebabs didn't work,
they all went beserk,
'cause someone forgot
the chilli sauce.
At London St. Paul's,
they had lots of balls, 'cause half the tents were empty,
The bishop said “sure,
you can camp on our door, 'cause I'm going home.”
The bankers they say
were playing all day with everybody's money.
They fiddled the shares
With privileged airs,
And pocketed nearly a
billion each.
One day it popped but
they couldn't stop,
Just like a tube of
Pringles.
They buggered us all
And we took the fall
for their obscene greed.
Germany knew they had
it bad too, and Greece was falling over.
The whole Eurozone was
crumbling alone,
And everyone looked in
old China's direction.
Far from the east, that
mystical beast,
It looked so calm and
prosperous,
We held out our hand
and they struck up a band and they sang 'Up yours!'
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)